Angels

Slowly my body wakes.  I was conscious though I couldn’t move.  I could breathe, but I couldn’t move my arms and legs.  I lay there thinking I was dreaming, but the room is pretty clear to me.  The feeling began to return to my extremities and I began to notice a smokey shadow by the closet door.  The air was unusually cold.  I could feel an evil presence.  But I knew God appoints each of us angels and as I prayed in my spirit I felt four angels on each of my bed posts guarding me.  I closed my eyes and fell back asleep.  I felt safe knowing I was sleeping with angels tonight.

The Pearl Necklace 2

Veronica couldn’t believe she was here in this moment.  She watched as many things from her childhood were paraded in front of her.

“Three fifty please.  Thanks, have a nice day.”  She smiled but inside she was feeling empty.

An older lady came up with a box full of odds and ends of her mother’s jewelry.

“How much for this whole box?”

“Well, do you have a price in mind.”

“Two hundred for the lot?”  Veronica sifted through the necklaces, pins, and earrings.  She could remember several occasions when her mother had worn this or that.  So many memories in that little box.  Almost too many to bear.  

“How about two-fifty and we have a deal.”  Veronica reached up and touched the strand of pearls around her neck.  She remembered the exact moment when she saw her mother pass from life into eternity.  It was the only piece she kept as a reminder of her mother and how beautiful she lived in this life.  She smiled knowing she would be able to pass along the same legacy to her own daughter.  The memory would live on in a simple strand of pearls.

The Pearl Necklace 1

“Mommy?”

“Yes Ronnie.” Kate looked down at her daughter Veronica.  She had been watching her intently as she got ready for her date with her husband Tom.  

“Can I wear your pearls someday?”  Kate smiled as she touched her necklace and remembered the day when Tom gave them to her. 

“Yes, when your old enough, you can wear them”  Ronnie smiled big, swinging her feet off the edge of the bed.  She had been such a girlie girl always watching her mother get ready wanting to try some eye shadow or a touch of perfume.  She was enthralled with trying her mother’s jewelry on and playing dress up.  They would do that from time to time.  Sometimes having a tea party to show off their elegant creations.  Mr. Bear and Ms. Molly loved to join them too, though they didn’t eat very much.

“Goodie, I want to be pretty just like you.”

“Oh Ronnie, you are beautiful just the way you are, you don’t need jewelry to make you prettier.”  She knelt down held Ronnie’s chin in her hands and kissed her forehead.  “Now go brush your teeth so you’re ready for Sara when she gets here.”

“Alright...”  She watched Veronica walk out the door and heard the bathroom door shut.  She was truly blessed with a wonderful family.  She touched the pearls once more...remembering that day. 

This was inspired by one of Jills photos last week.  It's going to be a really short story...to be continued tomorrow.  :) enjoy!

Legacy

Tonight I made the mistake to visit ancestry.com and take them up on their offer of 14 FREE days.  I am forever curious of who I came from.  I wonder what they were like.  What was life like back then.  

So one hour went to two and I kept adding more and more to my family tree.  I found actual documents from the Census, military records, death certificates.  It is amazing what they have put online now.

As I was entering the data I thought about my grandpa who just died and then my grandpa that died a few years back.  I have such fond memories about both of them that the days seem so distant that they were once here and yet their memory lingers in the person I have become.  The person their stories and lessons have helped to shape.  

If I have learned anything it’s that the legacy we leave behind to our family and friends could be the most important legacy of all.  Money, possessions they are empty and worthless.  Storing up treasures in heaven...priceless.

Well, hello.

Its has become a bad habit of mine that I only upload once or twice a week. I still take my daily picture, but I always forget to upload it on this blog. I will try to do better! Also, I need to start adding stories behind the pictures. Here we go!

This might be one of my all time favorites. I was just in a very content mood, and was having a good hair day :) So, I decided to macro it up!

Once again, shame on you blogger for not letting me rotate pictures. I wondered in a local thrift shop and saw these necklaces hanging. I couldnt help but wonder what the stories of the women who wore these were. And how did they end up in a thrift shop? (que mini story from Michelle)

My mother in law had a giant jar of buttons and I wanted to do some sort of photo but was very uninspired. So I just tried out a new editing technique. I kind of like it.  

My husband and I wondered over to Portland last week in search of...well, nothing really. But it was a lovely day trip. I found this old run down house in the country and I loved it! If we would not have been so close to the interstate I would have probably broken in, but it was too risky. Thus the outdoor pictures. I can only imagine what these walls would say if they could talk.

Oh, yeah...Im pregnant :). Only 7 weeks, you can't tell, and this is pretty cheesy. But I am very excited and do not care about the degree of cheesy I am portraying.

Be a Do'er

Today I went to visit my father-n-law and he said something to me that really touched me.  He said, “I appreciate you coming to see me.”  But what he doesn’t know is that I am blessed every time I see him.  I know that he can be a pistol sometimes, but around me he has such a gentle spirit.  I enjoy each of our visits and wish that I would have known him and his wife earlier in life.  They are both sweet, giving people.    

Life.  Four simple letters make up the word of our existence, without it there is only death.  Is it possible to do everything you set out to do in this life?  Is there room for regret?  Do you reach a certain age and just settle?  Just some thoughts tonight on how fragile each one of our lives can be.  Don’t miss the opportunities that God gives you.  It’s hard, but I want to live each day as if it were my last chance here on earth.  Last chance to reach out.  Last chance to make a change.  Last chance to make a difference.  I don’t want to regret or wonder what if.  I want to be a do’er of God's word.  I want to fulfill all that He has planned for me.

Random Thought

Working on my speech for tomorrow...so this is all I have for tonight.  

The journey through my life begins and ends in an instant.  Only the trailing whisper of my existence remains.  All else is lost or forgotten.

Rest assured I am writing my speech so that counts...I don't think I am ready to post it though.  Maybe someday. :)

Make Sense?

How do you think your life would be different if you lost one of your senses?

I have often thought about this and wondered which of my senses I could go without.  If I had to choose I would pick my sight.  At this point in my life I have seen a lot of things and could picture them in my minds eye and imagination.  I couldn’t imagine the work involved in learning sign language and trying to talk but not being able to hear yourself.  It sounds so frustrating.  I want to be able to hear music, hear the voices of my friends and loved ones.  Even just the simple things like hearing a noise in the middle of the night. 

Just the other day I had a really bad headache and my eyes became blurry for a period of time and it made me rethink this.  Would I still choose my sight?  I think I would, but I am glad I don’t have to choose.  Whatever life throws at me I am sure God will prepare my heart and mind to accept it and rise above it.  

Just a thought...

The Key cont...

Alice sat up against a chair and tried to pull herself back together.  The visions from the window were still fresh in her mind and it was hard to shake the miles and miles of grey barren land she saw.  It was as if there was a deep crater where there should have been life.  Every few feet or so there were little wisps of smoke as if everything had been burned up.  As far as the eye could see, everything was dead.

She was taken back to a small memory of a little girl with golden pigtails in curls with an older man, maybe her grandfather.  They were playing in the tall green grass.  He was chasing her.  She could hear laughter, pure innocent laughter as the girl ran away looking over her shoulder.  The dream was suddenly clouded by a dark cloud that passed over the sun.  The girl and the man stopped and looked up, their faces started to change.  They were melting.  A small scream startled her awake and she found herself curled up on the floor.  She must have fallen asleep.  

It was now dark outside and she knew she needed her sleep to figure things out.  The question remained on her mind: What happened to her world as she remembered it?  She inched her way towards the couch.  She didn’t want to turn on any lights to attract the wrong kind of people...if there was any life left out there.  She wasn’t comfortable to sleep in the bedroom yet so the couch was the next best thing.  She curled up and grabbed the blanket from the top of the head rest to keep her warm. 

Tomorrow would be another day...

Catch up...again....

I am sick of winter. Everything is 'blah' and it is very uninspiring.

 Although...looking forward for a certain subject to take pictures of soon :)

HELP :)

So it’s the end of February (almost).  Two months down...ten more to go.  I have a few things I have been working on for this blog, but I need your help.  Please comment and leave me feedback on any prompts/ideas that you have for me.  I am open to try almost everything...and I need some more ideas to write about.

It has been good and trying at times to post something everyday.  But I think I have been learning a valuable lesson to write everyday no matter what.  That was my goal and I am proud to have stuck it out.  It has made me look at parts of my life and cutout the things that don’t allow me to focus on my writing.

Thanks for being a part of this journey.  :) 

My Short Bucket List

This was another suggestion by my sister...I started it and I realized that there isn’t really too many things that I want to accomplish.  But the things I want to accomplish are a bit out of my reach, but nothing is too big for God.

Finish at least one novel completely

Read the bible through in a year

Be Bold for Christ

Retire in a oceanfront condo or at least vacation there
Travel to Italy

Speak in 100 churches about abortion and post abortive women

End Abortion

Really?

Abortion is Legal...yet here are some of our other laws that our government has passed.

• In California it’s illegal for a vehicle without a driver to exceed 60 miles per hour.
• In South Carolina every adult male is required to take a rifle to church on Sunday in case of attack
• In Maine it’s illegal to keep Christmas decorations up past January 14th
• In LA California a man can legally beat his wife with a leather strap, as long as it is less than two inches wide, or she gives him permission to use a wider strap
• In Arkansas a man can legally beat his wife but not more than once a month
• In Mobile Alabama it’s unlawful to howl at ladies inside city limits, or wear pumps with sharp heels
• In Dyersburg Tennessee it’s illegal for a woman to call a man for a date
• In Michigan a state law stipulates that a women’s hair legally belongs to her husband
• In Iowa it’s illegal to kiss longer than five minutes
• In San Francisco California it’s illegal to wipe one’s car with used underwear
• In Arkansas flirtation between the members of the opposite sex on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term

off the cuff

Tonight as the title suggests is off the cuff...I am just writing what is coming to my mind.  Why, you might ask and that would be that I had no lunch today (no chance to write) and right after dinner I went to a public speaking class that lasted until I got home around 10ish (again...no chance to write). 


The public speaking class was...interesting.  I learned a lot and next week we are each going to give our 5-7 minute speech and the class will critique us.  I am nervous and excited about this, because I see God heading me in this direction and so I know he will equip us.  But there is also the fear and uncertainty of it all and that is what binds my thoughts.


But just as in writing I keep pressing on.


I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:14

Writers Block

There I was, pen in hand, poised over the paper and I couldn’t write a few simple sentences.  I moved to the final resting place the ink would ever see, but nothing came out.  My chest tight, my breathing labored.  I was ready, at any moment words were going to fall out of my pen and on to the paper.  

But they didn’t.

Random Dilapidated House & Restaurant

k.i.s.s

I read a magazine the other day.  The cover had a woman holding a cut out heart with one word on it.  This one word really stuck with me so much so that I cut this heart out of the cover and taped it into my journal.  It describes something that I strive to do everyday and somedays I get it and other day’s I fall short.  In fact right now in my life there is nothing I want more than to get back there.  When I get overwhelmed and realize that I have over extended myself that is when I know that I need this back in my life.  This one word has so many meanings for my life.  Plain, basic, or uncomplicated in form, nature, or design; easily understood or done; presenting no difficulty.  

The word? Simple.

A (borrowed) Valentine's Day Poem

Song of Solomon 4

1 How beautiful you are, my darling!
   Oh, how beautiful!
   Your eyes behind your veil are doves.
   Your hair is like a flock of goats
   descending from the hills of Gilead.
2 Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn,
   coming up from the washing.
   Each has its twin;
   not one of them is alone.
3 Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon;
   your mouth is lovely.
   Your temples behind your veil
   are like the halves of a pomegranate.
4 Your neck is like the tower of David,
   built with courses of stone;
   on it hang a thousand shields,
   all of them shields of warriors.
5 Your breasts are like two fawns,
   like twin fawns of a gazelle
   that browse among the lilies.
6 Until the day breaks
   and the shadows flee,
I will go to the mountain of myrrh
   and to the hill of incense.
7 You are altogether beautiful, my darling;
   there is no flaw in you.

 8 Come with me from Lebanon, my bride,
   come with me from Lebanon.
   Descend from the crest of Amana,
   from the top of Senir, the summit of Hermon,
   from the lions’ dens
   and the mountain haunts of leopards.
9 You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride;
   you have stolen my heart
   with one glance of your eyes,
   with one jewel of your necklace.
10 How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride!
     How much more pleasing is your love than wine,
     and the fragrance of your perfume
    more than any spice!
11 Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride;
     milk and honey are under your tongue.
  The fragrance of your garments
   is like the fragrance of Lebanon.
12 You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride;
    you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain.
13 Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates
    with choice fruits,
    with henna and nard,
 14 nard and saffron,
     calamus and cinnamon,
     with every kind of incense tree,
     with myrrh and aloes
     and all the finest spices.
15 You are a garden fountain,
     a well of flowing water
     streaming down from Lebanon.

mmm...

Sleep Paralysis

Darkness cast a shadow over me.  My eyes are frozen closed so I can’t see it, I only feel it’s presence.  I try to move but I am still in the end stages of REM sleep.  I am paralyzed and can’t move or even utter a sound.  Yet my heart beats faster as the darkness continues to hover.  My body is not awake but my mind is.  I try to say help - but it is only a low groan that I hear come back to me.

I have had this happen a few times before and at first I thought I was just dreaming but I learned that your body does actually paralyze itself when sleeping and if your mind wakes up before your body this can happen.  It is called hypnopompic or Isolated Sleep Paralysis.  It is generally accompanied by terrifying hallucinations and an acute sense of danger.  It is the strangest feeling when you want to move and you cannot make your body move.  It makes me wonder if that is how someone in a coma feels - are they sometimes trapped and want to so desperately say or do something.

It is amazing how intricately God has made each one of us and how everything in our body works together.  I really wonder how some people, even scientists, deny that God exists and created us.  

Psalm 139:13-16  For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from You when i was made in the secret lace.  When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body.  All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be. 

We think as humans we are so smart and above all things. But I believe we haven’t even scratched the surface of what this life has to offer and if you accept Jesus as your personal savior - Eternal life.  An eternity to grow and learn all there is to know....priceless.

Manon Lescaut

I went to the opera for the first time last night.  I didn’t know what to expect, but it was something I wanted to try.  I really liked it.  The singing was beautiful and the story, though in subtitles, was very dramatic.  I didn’t expect the amount of acting that took place; it was funny, witty in places.  In some ways the writing was very poetic.

After experiencing it myself, I wonder why so many people I asked didn’t want to go.  I think opera’s been stereotyped as some sort of thing that only rich people do.  Maybe something that can’t be understood.

I really enjoyed myself and plan to attend more.  I will call it an artistic date with myself.

(disclaimer: this is probably my lamest entry ever...but give me a break I’ve got a bit of a headache and so the brain is not working very well tonight.)  :)

Road Trip

Another favorite memory with my sister would have to be our first road trip.  We went to see our grandparents in Suffolk Va.  I would remember this as the last time I would see my grandpa healthy.  

We piled our suitcases into my sporty Pontiac Sunfire and hit the road.  On the way down we stopped in Pittsburgh before traveling to Washington DC.  We had big plans to see the Lincoln Memorial, Reflecting Pool, White House, and the Washington Monument.  Our first stop was to Arlington.  I remember the cemetery so vividly.  It was beautiful, peaceful, and yet all those white markers as far as the eye can see, each representing a human life, someone’s son, father, daughter, mother.  It was shocking to think of all those men and women, their lives lost at the expense of our freedoms that we enjoy today.  After that we tried to get to the other points of interest, but ...well, let’s just say it is NOT fun driving in Washington DC and as my navigator, I told her to get us the heck out of there.  

After visiting with our grandparents for a few days, we left late the night before and drove straight through back to home sweet home.  Just to keep us awake I remember rolling down the windows to let some of the cold morning air in and singing at the top of our lungs some of Rob Bells music.  “Your ways are not my way and your thoughts are not my thoughts...you hurt my brain...” 

My sister is special to me, she is carefree and FUN.  She can make me smile and laugh so easily.  When I look back at that time I think it cemented our relationship in a way that nothing ever could.  We have gone through so much together good times and bad times.  But that road trip seemed to bond us even further and that bond has never faltered it has only grown stronger.

Healed

Words swirling and burning in my mind.  There is so much passion behind the words I try to convey. I know not what I say only that I write it and not speak it.  I am trying to ride one emotion at a time, but they continue to bombard me left and right leaving me tired and let down.  The journey continues on while I wait, watch, and wonder.  I am trapped inside this box.  

I cry but no one comes, I scream and still no one hears.  My tears fall silently.  I stare at the walls of my heart hoping to find some good, something of value, but I come up empty.  I see how the years of abuse have left me with walls that are torn and uprooted.  How to even begin to repair the mess that life has left me?  I am lost, my heart is heavy within me.  My tears pool around me.  I continue to weep.  

The top of the box is opening I can see the lid being lifted up.  I want to jump and escape, but I am still trapped.  Only now I feel tiny rays of light piercing the thick blackness that I have been blanketed in.  They completely shatter the past and things begin to look a little better in the light.  The torn parts seem to almost melt together in the intense light.  I yearn for the light all at once, but only tiny beams of light break through.  They are like a laser zapping away the broken, hurt, dark, and empty areas.  I do not fear, I am bathed in the warm light.  I am being filled and healed by my true Father.

FANatic

What is a fanatic?

Lambert Jersey. Check.

Terrible Towel tucked neatly into back pocket. Check.

Black and Gold beads. Check.

We walk to the side door.  A “Home of a Steelers fan” welcome mat greets us.  A Superbowl feast of cheese cubes and meat, polish sausage and sauerkraut, chili, meatballs and wieners, plenty of chips and M & M’s all displayed on the dining room table.  I sit down next to the cozy fire in the living room.  The pre-game is playing on the flat LCD screen TV.

The game:  Ball is snapped.  First down!  Terrible towels are flying.  Everyone is intensely sitting forward watching the game. Some playing armchair quarterback, not liking the plays that have been called.  The little “Justin Biebers” (as Jill puts it) of the world sit quietly on the floor in front of the TV each with their jersey supporting their favorite player.  This is the future generation of Steeler fans.  Laughter peals as a commercial about Doritos is on: A man forgets to take care of his roommates pet goldfish and plant.  He sprinkles Doritos on them and they come alive.  He accidentally knocks over his roommates grandfather’s ashes and it fades back to the roommate coming home to find both his roommate and grandfather watching TV.

Very disappointing start so far, if your a Steeler fan.  Three minutes left in the first quarter and Green Bay has already scored again after an interception.  It is a bit of a struggle to try and control the language around the little ones.  Already the mood is somber.  “Come on Ben throw another pic” Rick says.  He is throughly disgusted by the way his team is playing. 

5:21 left to go in the half.  Big Ben throws a pass straight into the arms of Randel El for 37 yards.  A touchdown is really needed to go into halftime.  Less than a minute to go before the half Ben hit Hines Ward for the Steelers first touchdown.

Halftime show...Eh, not much to write home about.

After the half the Steelers momentum picks ups, but just as quickly Green Bay forces fumble and whoosh the hope is sucked out of the room. Game over.

I remember when the Steelers got their sixth Superbowl championship.  You can’t help but get sucked into all the screaming, hugging, and grown men in tears.  Somehow, you just want to be a part of it.  The tears this year weren’t tears of happiness...well if you were a Steeler fan that is.

We forgive you

Tonight I heard this song.  What a wonderful opportunity to use the gift God gave you and give back to so many.  I know it means a lot to me and will mean a lot to many post abortive women that go through our bible study.  When over 43% of women have an abortion by the time they are 45...that is a lot of women out that that are hurting from this loss.  When you continue to live out from where God places you, God heals you in ways you never though possible.  Just when you think that you have made it to some level.  God surprises you by healing another part of you...on his way to making you whole.

Check out his site: http://www.musicforthesoul.org/

They don’t have this song on there yet...but here are the words.

We Forgive You - Steve Siler

Would it have been a girl with a diamond smile or a darling boy with a dimpled chin 

Is it past and still it makes you cry, wishing you could have that choice again

Your heart aches everyday for what might have been

You blame yourself for what can never be 

You can’t begin to hope or dare believe

That such a loss could ever be redeemed

You’ve been so alone, you’ve felt so ashamed

But in the midst of your confusion, this is what you need to hear today

We forgive you, your child is safe with me

and I’m holding your child close each time you pray

Please surrender the guilt of your past and be free

We still love you

We forgive you

Every time you hear a child at play, or see the glowing eyes of a mom to be

Old regrets crash in like tidal waves, cause you believe the hidden tragedy

So harsh and so cold, felt you had no choice

When you can’t believe you’ll find the compassion

Just close your eyes and hear my voice

We forgive you, your child is safe with me

and I’m holding your child close each time you pray

Please surrender the guilt of your past and be free

We still love you

We forgive you

Above all else, please forgive yourself

Your child is not alone

Heaven is our home

We still love you...

We forgive you...

Roller Coaster

hope floating; excitement...love

road signs stop...danger; pain loss

ignore avoid sadness despair depression

fierce desire hope once again

eternally whole always

Typewriter (series)

Moments

Tonight I had different intentions for my entry...but I had taken way more notes than I had expected and not enough time to go through them tonight to make a coherent entry.  So this week sometime I will finish that entry entitled “FANatic” just a little teasing for your reading pleasure.  So tonight I will just write some rambling nonsense.

It was nice to catch up with a friend today and hang out with old friends I don’t ordinarily see. I enjoyed the little things today.  Working side by side in the kitchen creating Rick’s famous “Steeler Weenies”  I make the meatballs...he makes the sauce.  Taking a much needed nap after church and my dog felt he needed one too and decided to cuddle with me.

Sometimes its not about the big things, but the little things that make up one’s life.  The tiny inconsequential things that make us pause.  The dog resting his head on your lap.  The husband as he places his hand on the small of your back as he leads you through a doorway.  The easy laughter of friends and sisters.  The bowing of a little boys head at lunchtime.  Each of these seemingly small events all make up the fabric of our lives (for lack of a better term).  We live moment by moment and must cherish these in our hearts.

Thank-you to all my friends and family for all of the wonderful moments they have granted me in my lifetime.

Joy

After writing yesterday’s entry it made me think about what I learned the other day in a sermon from Rick Renner about Paul when he wrote Philippians.  It really brings more meaning to verse 4:4 and the epistle as a whole.  

While writing Philippians Paul was incarcerated in the Mamertine prison.  This was one of the worst Roman prisons, the other being the island of Patmos where John was exiled.  This particular prison was a cistern for Caesar Nero’s imperial palace. It would collect all the water and sewage that ran through the palace until it reached a specific level and then it would flow into the Tiber river.  Paul was chained to the wall with his hands above his head.  He would hear rats eating the floating sewage and also human flesh of the people that were also chained to the walls.  Many people died from lack of food or from the rats as they tore at their flesh.  It was a place filled with death. Because Paul was a Roman citizen by law he had the right to receive a meal once a day and mail once a month.  He was also allowed to write a letter once a month.  From this dark hole is where he wrote Philippians.

Paul, in the midst of his dire circumstances witnessed to the guards that came in, he witnessed to his fellow prisoners, and he wrote letters to encourage others outside his walls.  Paul used every opportunity to talk about Christ.  Paul mentions joy 19 times in this epistle and while it’s hard to see joy in Paul’s circumstances.  We, as christians, know that this isn’t all there is.  Our lives on earth are just a mist that is here and gone.  Every second is a gift.  How well are we using the gifts we are being given?   

Bettis

The day death pulled back it’s curtain to reveal itself to me, I wasn’t ready.  The grief was so deep it took my breath away. He was such a sweet innocent spirit, well sometimes not too innocent.  There was a bit of naughty in him that still brings a smile to my face.  I remember the time we caught him with a steak hanging out the side of his mouth or watching as he bounced the cupboard doors open with his big Lab nose.    

The day we let him go it was raining outside.  It wasn’t a soft steady rain, but a hard soaking rain that pelted us as we escaped out the side door of the vet’s office.  It seeped into our clothing, mixing with the tears flowing down our cheeks.  The guttural cries came up from the deepest part of our souls.  This was grief I thought.  I had never experienced such intense pain before.  It was unexpected.

But just as unexpectedly I began to heal.  Day by day life went on around me.  I started to breathe a little easier.  I still wanted him back, and would have traded almost anything.  But still the healing continued. It was in this time in my life that I took to heart this verse in Philippians. “Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice!”

...and a little child will lead them

Tonight was writer’s group (awesome group of people) and as I drove home I struggled with what to write today since I hadn’t been at it yet.  But then I thought about something my sister told me today.  It was a touching picture that stuck in my head and every time I think about it...well it warms my heart.  

A lady at my nephew’s school wrote my sister telling her about her how he brings so much joy to her day.  The letter goes on to tell her how convicted she is when she see’s him bowing his head in prayer at lunchtime.  She also say’s that it brought to life the verse...and a little child will lead them.

My sister never knew this.  I can imagine as the tears ran down her face, she was praising God for such a sweet gift.  This picture was so powerful to me.  The heart can be so innocent and simple.  Sometimes God uses bright lights and neon signs and then sometimes God uses a small child to teach us.

My nephew is only a kindergartner...but he is a giant in my eyes.

I wish blogger would let me rotate pictures...heres the first part of February!

The Ocean

This is what I am thinking about today...

The ocean is so mystifying

and so beautiful

a huge body of water

so deep and so wide

the waves have a

melody all their own

a rhythmic song as

they crash on the shore

singing their tune all

night and all day

The ocean is so mystifying 

And so beautiful

After

This is the revised version...I may still change somethings, but it is good for now.

Allen found room 203 with no problem.  The door was closed, he paused before opening it and walking in.  He caught Sandra’s eyes and braced knowing she was not going to be , unsure of what to expect. 

“What’re you doing here?”  He expected that.  Walking toward her he pleaded with his eyes.   

“How you’re doing?”

“Great...no thanks to you.”  So many things he wanted to say to her, but probably best not to.  He sat down in the chair across from her and looked around the room instead.  On the whiteboard on the wall in front of the bed someone had written: RN - Jessica and underneath her name LPN - Denise.  It was a small room, but thankfully it was private.  The IV dripped above her head, the machine methodical.  He broke the silence.

“Nice arrangement.”  He looked in the direction of the bouquet of pink Gerber daisy’s by the window.  After a once over of the room he noticed it was the only arrangement.  He wished then he had brought some flowers.  “Is it from the neighbors?”  When he looked back she was staring at him.  He had forgotten how beautiful she was.  Her soft smell intoxicated him bringing him back to a time long before this.  

“Don’t worry, you did your good deed for the day.  You can leave now.”  Just like that the softness he had seen before hardened. 

“Can’t you see how much I still care for you?  And Megan, she just wants her mom back.  We all do.”  Sandra turned away and looked out the window.  Allen watched her as her eyes glazed over and went dark.  There was something she didn’t want to reveal.  It was the chasm that neither had been able to cross.  “Speaking of Megan where is she?”   Allen watched Sandra fade away; he leaned in and touched her hand to bring her back.  “Sandra?”  

“What?”  He had startled her, but the anger from was apparent in her tone.

“Where’s Meagan?  I can’t get a hold of her.”  He watched her eyes cast downward as she collected her thoughts.

“I don’t know...I think I kicked her out.”

“You think?”

“Give me a break, it’s all foggy.”  The tears started falling now.  “You blame me for everything.”

“Don’t turn this around on me.  You left before I ever did.  You gave up and we were left to pick up the pieces.”

“I didn’t give up.  My life was taken from me.”  she clenched the tissues in her hands, clearly annoyed.

“No.” His voice was softer. “Cindy died, but you still have a chance.”  Sandra remained silent.  She spoke her next words slowly enunciating the syllables as if each one held its own meaning and weight.

“You don’t understand.”  He knew they were getting close to a point of no return.  Yet he still wanted to push her, he needed her to see.

“Help me understand.”

“Believe me you don’t want to.”  Her chilly demeanor suggested that she was about to cause a scene.  

“Fine.  Let’s drop it for now.”

“You don’t want to understand.”  Allen ignored her.  She was picking a fight now. 

“I’ll come back later.”  He added, “get better Sandra.”  With that Allen picked up his jacket placing it over his arm and walked out of the room.