“What are you doing here?” Allen was caught off guard by her anger, although he shouldn’t have been.
“I thought I would see how you are.”
“Well thanks to you they pumped my stomach.”
“Did you want to die?” She paused and stared at him seemed to be thinking
“No, but if it happened, it’s not like anyone around here would care.” Allen was so fed up with Sandra and her little pity train
“You have no idea do you! You have no idea how much I still love you and have loved you and still try to care for you. Megan is still waiting for her mother to come home and take care of her. She love you so much and has poured much of her childhood into you to help you cope.” Sandra looked outside the window, she couldn’t look allen in the face. She knew these things were true but that is why she drank. they were just more things that she wanted to forget so she could live in her unhappy, pitiful existence. After all it was all her fault what happened to her and Cindy. It was all her fault and she had never been able to face that . “Speaking of Megan where is she? I haven’t been able to reach her.” Sandra tried to piece together what had happened before.
“I think I kicked her out.”
“You think you kicked her out? What have you done this time Sandra.”
“I would appreciate it if you would stop blaming me for everything. I do the best I can you know. You left, you have it easy. You don’t have to deal with her.”
“Your not going to turn this around on me. I have been there for you whenever you needed me. Your the one who left me way before I left you. I don’t have it easy. I didn’t give up on life the way you did.”
“I didn’t give up on life, I had no choice. My life was taken from me.”
“No Sandra.” His voice was softer, quieter. “Cindy’s life was taken from her, but you still have a chance at a life. You could have lived it for both of you.” Sandra remained silent. There were things she didn’t want to thin about. Things that happened that Allen wouldn’t understand. If Allen knew, he would think differently. He would probably pour her next cocktail for her. “Sandra?” She turned toward him, he could see the anger boiling beneath the surface. This was not what he wanted. He just wanted to talk to her. Make her see that she is still love and needed. Make her see that she needed change...that she still had a chance at life.
“You don’t understand.” Her words were spoken slowly enunciating each word as if each one held its own understanding and weight in the sentence. He knew they were getting close to a point of no return. A point when the conversation would escalate to something he didn’t want. Yet he still wanted to push her, he needed her to see.
“Help me understand.”
“Believe me you don’t want to.” The tone in her voice suggested that they were nearing the point. He didn’t want a scene here in the hospital. So he dropped it. He was sure they would pick up where they left off at another time.
“Fine. Let’s drop it for now.”
“I told you. You really don’t want to understand.” Allen ignored her. She was picking a fight now. It took him a while to recognize the signs.
“I’ll come back later. I’m going to look for Megan.” He added softly, “get better Sandra.” With that Allen picked up his jacket placing it over his arm and walked out of the room. He stopped to turn and look at her profile his heart leapt a little. She still looked like the Sandra that he fell in love with many years ago. He just wished that she had the same heart of the Sandra he fell in love with. He kept hoping that they had a chance even though it seemed they didn’t There just wasn’t any hope for them at all. He walked past the nurses station and kept going straight when he should have turned right...
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